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Washington, DC
It seems like just 345 years ago, Sir Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree, sipping a Caramel Macchiato, and doing a Sudoku puzzle when an apple fell on his head compelling him to realize his Laws of Universal Gravitation. In what seems to be such a simple principle, has managed to escape and baffle physicists for the past 2 decades. "Sagging," refers to a style in which a person wears their pants below their waist exposing much of their underwear. It was originally believed to have derived from inmates in prison, who were not allowed to belts, in fear that they would hang themselves. It was then adopted by the hip-hop culture, then spread throughout urban, suburban, and rural areas, to all races. In recent years, municipalities have been clamping down on Sagging, stating that the youth of this country has become so lazy and defiant, that they refuse to keep their pants up. In June of 2007, the Town Council in Delcambre, Louisiana passed an indecent exposure ordinance against people who wore their pants saggy.
As time goes on, pants have been sagging lower and lower, inching their way to the point where teenagers in Brooklyn, NY have been literally walking down the street with their pants around their ankles. We spoke with State Senator Adams who had this to say, "Residents are furious, and they demand justice! We can't sit back another minute and lets these pants get any lower! Before you know it, it will be winter. We can't have our kids walking around in the snow without pants. We want answers, damnit!" One Brooklyn teenager, a member of the notorious gang, the 6th Street Shannigans, Juan Carlos Greenberg, had this to say, "We ain't doin' nothin', man! What is this guy's trip? I am not my pants keeper. That's just how we roll, Dog." One person has heard the cries, and is now playing an active role in solving the epidemic. His name is Charles Wheatley, an Astrophysicist for NASA. Wheatley, who has been working on the problem for the past 3 years, believes he has found a scientific explanation.
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